Sex During Pregnancy:
Couples often worry about having sex during pregnancy. They may be
afraid that having sex could cause a miscarriage or harm the baby. With a
normal pregnancy, sex is safe into the last weeks of pregnancy. In
fact, some studies suggest that having sex during pregnancy is
associated with a lower risk of delivering too early!
The baby is well-cushioned by amniotic fluid and the strong muscles
of the uterus. There is also a thick mucus plug that seals the cervix
and helps to protect against infection.
It is best to talk to your doctor or nurse midwife about your
specific situation to make sure you are considered at low risk for
complications such a pre-term labor or miscarriage. Your doctor may
advise you to limit your sex if there are signs or complications during
your pregnancy.
Women whose cervix seems to be opening early, and those
with bleeding or an abnormally located placenta (placenta previa) should
not have sex while they are pregnant.
Changes In Sexual Drive:
You and your partner may experience fluctuations in sexual drive
during the pregnancy. This is common during the different phases of
pregnancy and will be different for everyone.
During the FIRST trimester many women experience extreme breast
tenderness, fatigue, nausea, vomiting, and an increased need to urinate
that might decrease their sexual drive. Some couples have a feeling of
increased closeness that may influence their sexual desires.
Many women find that during the SECOND trimester the initial symptoms
have gone away and they have an increased desire for sex. One theory
for the increased desire is the increased blood supply in the pelvic
region. Some women find freedom from birth control appealing and this
adds to the continued sense of special closeness with their partner.
The desire for sex may change again in the THIRD trimester. Your
abdomen is very large, which may make it awkward for you to have sex.
Some women feel physically unattractive, while others may feel an
increased sense of desirability.
The key to dealing with changes in sexual desire is to communicate
your feelings and thoughts with your partner. Even with the changing
desires for sex during pregnancy, some women have an increased desire
for physical affection, gentle touching, and cuddling.
Positions:
Having sex as your pregnancy progresses may be difficult or
uncomfortable. There are a variety of positions that seem to work with
greater comfort. These include:
- Both partners lying sideways, either face-to-face or spoon position.
- Woman on top.
- Rear entry.
- The woman lying on her back, knees bent, near the end of the bed.
'Unsafe' Sex:
If you have oral sex, air should not be blown into your vagina. This
can cause an air embolism or an air bubble to get in your bloodstream
and block a blood vessel. This is extremely uncommon, but can be fatal
to you and your baby.
When Limitations May Be Needed:
There are some conditions or complications with pregnancy that may
impact having sexual intercourse. Your health care provider may advise
you to limit or avoid sex if you have one of the following conditions:
- A history of miscarriage
- A history of pre-term labor
- Vaginal bleeding or cramps
- Leakage of amniotic fluid or breaking of water
- Incompetent
cervix (the cervix or opening of the uterus is weak and opens
prematurely, which increases the risk for miscarriage or premature
delivery)
- Placenta previa (the
structure that provides nourishment to the baby is in front of the
cervix or in the lower part of the uterus, instead of the usual location
at the top of the uterus)
- Pain with intercourse
- Infection
You should consult your health care provider if you are unsure whether
sex is safe for you. If you have any symptoms that you are unsure about,
such as pain, bleeding, discharge, or contractions after sex, contact
your doctor.
Some women are advised to stop having sex in the last weeks of
pregnancy. It is best to check with your health care provider for
specific recommendations.
Remember, talking to your partner about your sexual feelings and
desires during the pregnancy are important. These conversations will
help lay the groundwork for the big changes about to take place for both
of you -- parenthood!
Teens
having a healthy sex life means many things to many people. For some, it
means steering clear of disease and pregnancy. For some, it means
abstinence, and for others, it's a moral dilemma. The truth is this:
whether adults approve or not, many teens have sex.
While you can have a
healthy sex life, it's not required at all, but the choice is
ultimately one you and your partner will make, together. These steps may
help you have a safe and healthy sex life, in whatever form that takes.
Before You Act
1
Educate yourself.
Many teens do not know that one can become pregnant from having sex once
or that one can obtain an STD (sexually transmitted disease) from
different kinds of sex. The more you know, the healthier you can be and
the smarter your decisions will be.
2
Talk to your parents/guardians.
Talking with your friends about sex is okay, but they are teenagers
just like you. It may seem weird, awkward, or gross but talking to your
parents and asking questions about sex will be the best advice you will
get since they have been through it. It may even bring you closer to
them.
3
Talk with your partner.
There needs to be many discussions over the issue of sex. You need to
talk about previous partners, possible STDs, what to do in the event of
an unplanned pregnancy, along with your views on abortion and adoption.
If you cannot talk to your partner about this, you may want to postpone
sex until the two of you are closer and can talk about these topics.
Method One: Abstinence
1
Refrain from having sex.
This may seem counter-intuitive to an article on having a healthy sex
life, but consider this: if 2/3s of teenagers are engaging in sex, that
means 1/3 are not. Also, abstinence does not mean not feeling sexual: it
means not having sex. If this is the choice you and your partner have
made, then do not be ashamed of it. Neither should you be ashamed to
have sexual urges with your parter—it would be unnatural not to.
There are some things you can do to help calm those urges, and still
share the kinds of intimacies that people in love share:
2
Enjoy the makeout session but keep your limits firmly in place.
If his (or her) wandering hands land where you don't want them, don't
just try to block the move with your body language: move them away with
your own hands, and say "No, I'm not ready for that." They should get
the idea immediately, and respect you enough to stop that approach.
3
Break off the makeout session if it gets too hot for either of you to handle.
It's completely natural to feel desire, but it's not required that you
act on that. If you find yourself suddenly overwhelmed with passion, but
are committed to remaining chaste for now, simply back off a bit and
say something like "wow, that's hot, but I'm not ready to go further
right now. Let's go watch a movie."
- If your partner doesn't understand, or is insistent, don't be
surprised: they may not be quite as ready to stop as you are, and might
be a little confused and flustered. However, if they remain insistent,
or demanding, or even attempt emotional blackmail such as "If you loved
me you would keep going," send them home to cool down, and re-think if
you want to be in that situation with them again.
Method Two: In-between Abstinence and Sex
1
Don't go all the way.
You've determined that you enjoy being sexual with your partner, but
are still not ready to have sex. Perhaps you're just not ready now, or
you may have decided that you want to wait until marriage before you
engage in sexual intercourse.
2
Engage in heavy petting.
What is it? Heavy petting is erotic contact between two people that
stops short of penetrative sex (vaginal, anal, or oral). The risk of
disease and pregnancy are greatly reduced, though there is still a very
small risk in either case, depending on the level of intimate contact.
3
Engage in non-penetrative sex.
This can range from all-clothes-on "dry humping," to all-clothes off
touching sessions including mutual masturbation and sexual satisfaction.
Because orgasm is generally part of the process, it's safe to say this
is sexual activity, and does carry a low risk of pregnancy or disease.
However, neither result is likely.
- Neither partner should feel obligated to perform other sexual acts
to avoid intercourse, however. The female likewise could similarly be
satisfied with manual and/or oral methods.
4
Engage in oral sex.
The CDC reports that over 60% of teens between the ages of 15 and 24
have had oral sex, compared to about 50% who have had vaginal
intercourse. While oral sex can be pleasurable for both partners, it is
not without its risks. Clearly, pregnancy is not much of an issue.
However, disease transmission is significantly increased. The CDC study
also reports that patients visiting STD clinics have shown that 5-10%
have gonorrhea in the throat, and can raise the risk for infection by
chlamydia, herpes, syphilis, and cancer-linked HPV, and recommends using
safe sex techniques when performing oral sex.
Method Three: Going All The Way
1
Plan ahead. You have
to decide that the time is right, and your partner is the right one,
and that you're going to proceed to having vaginal intercourse.
- Obtain the necessary items. Condoms and the Pill are the most common and effective methods of birth control for teens. They are easy to get, cheap, and effective.
- Condoms are available at most drugstores, and a prescription for the
Pill is easily obtained from your doctor. It's really important to
understand that even when both of the methods are used in tandem, it's
not 100% effective. You have to be mature enough to deal with the
consequence of becoming a parent or deciding to abort a pregnancy.
2
Find the right time and place to have sex.
If it's the first time for one or both of you, or even just your first
time with each other, you're going to need privacy and quite a bit of
time.
- First-time sex at any age can be nerve wracking, and the last thing
you need is to worry about getting caught. Finding privacy can be
difficult, but try not to do it in your car. In some places this is
illegal, and if you're caught, you can be charged. Try to restrict
yourselves to one of your homes, while there are no other people around.
3
Take your time.
There is nothing worse than a first time that is rushed. For the girl it
may be painful, and going too fast can cause her to have an unpleasant
experience. You may want to go slow, and explore each others bodies.
This is the most important time for foreplay. Foreplay is necessary to
relax and prepare each partner before the act. It especially helps a
girl produce the lubrication that will help her have a less painful
first time.
4
Talk about the experience with your partner afterwards. Did you like it? What should you work on? These are very important things to question to make next time even more enjoyable.
- Always use at least one kind of contraceptive with vaginal
intercourse. The pill is reliable for preventing pregnancy if taken as
directed, but condoms offer protection against STDs and reduce the risk of pregnancy..
- Sex is not only fun. It can also be a medium of expression of your intense love for each other.
- Keep the line of communication open during sexual activities to
share feelings and advice. Your partner wants to please you, but needs
to know what he or she should do that best serves your needs.
- Avoid problems associated with vaginal intercourse altogether, if
you both think that you want sex now, by alternative methods such as
manual and/or oral sex.
- Clean up after any sexual activity. Keep a small towel in your backpack.
Warnings
- Never sleep with someone because they are pressuring you,
because you think they'll love you, or because it's "cool." It'll only
lead to heartbreak.
- Setting a time limit can work against you if one of you expects to have sex once the time limit is up. Make sure that there is room for someone's mind to change.
- If you don't want children, the safest choice is to not engage in
sex at all. While it’s not always a simple decision, it is important to
know that if you do have sex, pregnancy can sometimes occur even if
proper precautions are taken.
- Sometimes people aren't really in love when they think they are. It's so important to know if you're in love or if you're not.
- Make sure upfront that your partner completely understands that you
will not engage in vaginal intercourse, if that is your decision
(whether the male or female).
- Make absolutely sure you have the time and privacy. The last thing you want is for your friends or parents to walk in on you.
Things You'll Need
- Condoms.
- A Private Area.
- Water-based lubricant.
- Hand towel.
- The pill, as prescribed by a physician
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