Effects, Causes and Solutions to Sex Addict

Sexual addiction (sometimes called sex addiction) is a conceptual model devised in order to provide a scientific explanation for sexual urges, behaviors, or thoughts that appear extreme in frequency or feel out of one's control—in terms of being a literal addiction to sexual activity.

This phenomenon is not newly described in the literature, but it has been described by many different terms: hypersexuality, erotomania, nymphomania, satyriasis, and, most recently, sexual addiction, compulsive sexual behaviour, and paraphilia-related disorders.

Someone who did much to popularise the concept of compulsive sexual behaviour as an addiction was Patrick Carnes. It was his book that was published in 1983 and activated interest in the construct of sexual addiction.

 


Hypersexuality is often associated with addictive or obsessive personalities, escapism, psychological disorders, low self-esteem, self-destructive behavior, lowered sexual inhibitions and behavioral conditioning.

Alcohol, hormonal imbalance and change of life hormone levels (puberty, adulthood, middle age, menopause, seniors), behavior modification, operant conditioning and many drugs affect a person's social and sexual inhibitions, while reducing integral human bonding abilities for intimacy.

 

Addiction is the state of behavior outside the boundaries of social norms which reduces an individual's ability to function efficiently in general routine aspects of life or develop healthy relationships.

Medical studies and related opinions vary among professional psychologists, sociologists, clinical sexologists and other specialists on sexual addiction as a medical physiological and psychological addiction, or representative of a psychological/psychiatric condition at all.

 

Sexual addiction is hypothesized to be (but is not always) associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), narcissistic personality disorder, and bipolar disorder.

There are those who suffer from more than one condition simultaneously (co-occurring disorder), but traits of addiction are often confused with those of these disorders, often due to most clinicians not being adequately trained in diagnosis and characteristics of addictions, and many clinicians tending to avoid use of the diagnosis at all.

 



Specialists in obsessive-compulsive disorder and addictions use the same terms to refer to different symptoms. In addictions, obsession is progressive and pervasive, and develops along with denial; the person usually does not see themselves as preoccupied, and simultaneously makes excuses, justifies and blames.

Compulsion is present only while the addict is physically dependent on the activity for physiological stasis. Constant repetition of the activity creates a chemically dependent state.

If the addict acts out when not in this state, it is seen as being spurred by the obsession only. Some addicts do have OCD as well as addiction, and the symptoms will interact^.

 

According to proponents of sexual addiction as a disorder, addicts often display narcissistic traits; these are said to often clear as sobriety is achieved, although others exhibit the full personality disorder even after successful addiction treatment.


Proponents of the concept have described sufferers as repeatedly and compulsively attempting to escape emotional or physical discomfort by using ritualized, sexualized behaviors such as masturbation, pornography, including obsessive thoughts. Some individuals try to connect with others through highly impersonal intimate behaviors: empty affairs, frequent visits to prostitutes, voyeurism, exhibitionism, frotteurism, cybersex, and the like.

Psychological distress theories

Patrick Carnes (2001, p. 40) argues that when children are growing up, they develop “core beliefs” through the way that their family functions and treats them.

A child brought up in a family that takes proper care of them has good chances of growing up well, having faith in other people, and having self-worth.

On the other hand, a child who grows up in a family that neglects them will develop unhealthy and negative core beliefs.

They grow up to believe that people in the world do not care about them. Later in life, the person has trouble keeping stable relationships and feels isolated. Generally, addicts do not perceive themselves as worthwhile human beings.

(Carnes, Delmonico and Griffin, 2001, p. 40) They cope with these feelings of isolation and weakness by engaging in excessive sex. (Poudat, 2005, p. 121)

According to Patrick Carnes the cycle begins with the "Core Beliefs" that sex addicts hold:

1. "I am basically a bad, unworthy person."
2. "No one would love me as I am."
3. "My needs are never going to be met if I have to depend on others."
4. "Sex is my most important need."

These beliefs drive the addiction on its progressive and destructive course:^[41]

• Pain agent — First a pain agent is triggered / emotional discomfort (e.g. shame, anger, unresolved conflict). A sex addict is not able to take care of the pain agent in a healthy way.
• Dissociation — Prior to acting out sexually, the sex addict goes through a period of mental preoccupation or obsession. Sex addicts begin to dissociate (moves away from his or her feelings). A separation begins to take place between his or her mind and his or her emotional self.
• Altered state of consciousness / a trance state / bubble of euphoric fantasized experience — Sex addict is emotionally disconnected and is pre-occupied with acting out behaviours. The reality becomes blocked out/distorted.
• Preoccupation or "sexual pressure" — This involves obsessing about being sexual or romantic. Fantasy is an obsession that serves in some way to avoid life. The addict's thoughts focus on reaching a mood-altering high without actually acting-out sexually. They think about sex to produce a trance-like state of arousal to eliminate the pain of reality. Thinking about sex and planning out how to reach orgasm can continue for minutes or hours before they move to the next stage of the cycle.
• Ritualization or "acting out" — These obsessions are intensified by ritualization or acting out. Ritualization helps distance reality from sexual obsession. Rituals induce trance and further separate the addict from reality. Once the addict begins the ritual, the chances of stopping that cycle diminish greatly. They give into the pull of the compelling sex act.
• Sexual compulsivity — The next phase of the cycle is sexual compulsivity or "sex act". The tensions the addict feels are reduced by acting on their sexual feelings. They feel better for the moment, thanks to the release that occurs. Compulsivity simply means that addicts regularly get to the point where sex becomes inevitable, no matter what the circumstances or the consequences. The compulsive act, which normally ends in orgasm, is perhaps the starkest reminder of the degradation involved in the addiction as the person realizes they are a slave to the addiction.
• Despair — Almost immediately reality sets in, and the addict begins to feel ashamed. This point of the cycle is a painful place where the Addict has been many, many times. The last time the Addict was at this low point, they probably promised to never do it again. Yet once again, they act out and that leads to despair. They may feel they have betrayed spiritual beliefs, possibly a partner, and his or her own sense of integrity. At a superficial level, the addict hopes that this is the last battle.

According to Carnes, for many addicts, this dark emotion brings on depression and feelings of hopelessness. One easy way to cure feelings of despair is to start obsessing all over again. The cycle then perpetuates itself.

Dr. Carnes mentions that:
Al Cooper (one of the original researchers in internet sex) described internet sex as the ‘crack cocaine’ of sexual addiction because it is an accelerant for adults of all stages of the lifespan. He felt that people would never have the problem if it had not been for the internet.